Do you feel different, or see yourself as standing out from the crowd? Do others make fun of you, or ridicule something you do or say? Many times, people pick on someone because they are insecure themselves and want to follow the crowd to feel like they are part of a group. They might be hurting in their home life and not getting the love and attention that kids need to thrive. We are not born to be mean or hurtful to others…it stems from something in our own life that is missing. This is where having empathy for others helps a lot in knowing that what this person is saying or doing to you — does not have anything to do with you!
Everyone has unique talents and traits to bring to the world. Once you find what that is for you, own it – practice it til you get REALLY good at it, and over time that will build your confidence and self-esteem. Then you will be stepping into your Personal Power, and when you feel so sure-footed – anything derogatory that someone else says to you…will just roll off your back, and will not phase you at all. And, don’t feel that you have to fit in with the “in-crowd” or popular kids; just be your unique true self, and if they do not appreciate you – that’s on them! It is much more rewarding to hang around with friends who appreciate you…for being you.
Once you build up your Personal Power ‘backbone’, you will feel confident to stand up for yourself and express to the bully that you deserve to be treated respectfully….just as much as they deserve to be respected. If they continue to make you feel less, you have 2 choices:
1) Avoid being around this person at all costs; if you are not able to avoid them, let them know 100% that you will not allow anyone to disrespect and mistreat you. NO ONE CAN MISTREAT YOU UNLESS YOU GIVE THEM THAT POWER!
2) If you feel unsafe or threatened in any way, discuss the situation with your parents or a trusted school counselor. The situation needs to be addressed and resolved – not one person should feel scared, unsafe nor uneasy in their own space.
Another form of bullying is called “cyber-bullying”, which means you are being bullied online. Always be aware of what you post on social media, as you never know who the audience could be. Even if you are directing your posts to people that you know, with the advancement of technology these days the web is limitless. Even though my intentions for you are always positive, it is still important to be realistic in knowing that there are still negative situations that could affect you, in addressing hackers and scammers on the web. Never post any personal information about yourself, as in passwords or credit card #, or your address; safety should be your #1 priority, online and off.
My final, and most important, message I want to address with bullying issues…..never, ever, get so involved with your concern for what bullies think or say about you. If it gets so bad that it starts affecting your emotions to the point that you get depressed, to where you do not want to be around your friends or family and starts getting in the way of your school work — stand up for yourself! YOU are much more important than letting someone else bring you down, to the point of depleting your self-worth! I think this is a very serious issue with kids, when it gets to the point of someone taking their own life having them believe that they are not valuable in this world!
You are a gift and your life matters….have you heard this saying? “what you think of me is none of my business!” When you start to believe in yourself, others will too! And if they don’t see your value, they don’t deserve to be in your life!