A balanced life takes into consideration all six key areas of life: health/appearance, wealth/finances, school/occupation, relationships, personal/spiritual development and play/recreation. Many times the ability to nurture a complete and balanced life becomes lost with busy schedules and the frequent chaos that we find ourselves facing in our day-to-day life. Achieving balance comes down to establishing priorities, and many times we let the fun, playful times go along the wayside of our busy lives. Let’s break it down….
• Health and Appearance
A daily exercise program, combined with healthy eating habits will support the body to sustain health, greater energy, longevity and vitality.
The same attitude holds true with regard to appearance. People interact with us based upon our appearance and the energy we put forth. How we are perceived has a direct affect upon how others hold us and relate to us. If we appear lacking personal hygiene or not well-groomed, this will send a signal out to others that these things are not important to us or that we do not hold ourselves worthy of such high standards, then most likely others will feel the same way about us. Because all of these subtle components make up how we come across to others, one area of deficiency often leads to another and before long, others respond to us with less respect, or even disdain or ridicule, which further diminishes our self -esteem.
• Wealth and Finances
At an early age, children can be taught to appreciate the good things that can be had with money, how to earn it, how to save it, and how to make it grow (invest). You’ve heard the saying “money is the root of all evil”? My philosophy is this….the bottom line is that money is not an indicator of good or evil, it is simply an amplifier of intentions. Much of the world’s suffering could be alleviated if more people realized how to tap into the extreme abundance that surrounds us all, but which so many have difficulty accessing! Look at your own parents’ attitudes and mindset on money….how do they feel about people who have an abundance of money, and how easily do they expect to attract wealth for themselves? Many times, if parents have issues around money, their children will be affected by these same attitudes.
But….if this is the case for your family situation, you can take it upon yourself to educate yourself on the value of money and how to go about attracting it. It starts with your mindset and having the belief that you can do whatever you set your mind to. Tip #1: having an abundance mindset, knowing that there is always enough money for everyone, is half the battle. But, you got to start there…act “as if” you already have all the money you want or need….mindset is EVERYTHING!! This is where visualization comes in handy.
Look for opportunities to get educated on finances and wealth accumulation. If you do not have a savings account, open one up NOW! If you work, save a percentage of your earnings from every paycheck. If you do not work, but get an allowance from your parents, don’t spend it all….save a percentage of what you get. Have you heard the saying, “pay yourself first”? This is the second most important tip I want to stress to you…always pay yourself first. Even if the amount is very small…never spend all of your money. Trust me….if you start early with this little tip, you will be on your way to wealth accumulation. As you get older, and progress your work history and increase your salary, this “pay me first” amount will increase. You will be setting yourself up smart financially for your future.
They say that money is not everything, but in my opinion, if you start early in living a comfortable life (financially)…you will have more options and less struggle. Now, that is a good thing….don’t you agree?
As I mentioned in the previous paragraph, develop an abundance mentality by always trying to have some extra money in your wallet or purse. This will eliminate the scarcity feeling of not being able to buy lunch or pick up an item that you may need or want. But, you do not have to spend it….I always keep some money in a separate place in my wallet, and just always knowing that I have that reserve gives me peace of mind.
• School/Occupation
Developing successful habits that will result in building high self-esteem in terms of work experiences will start with establishing those habits in school. By developing good study habits in school, this will set the foundation to transfer these same habits later in life to the arena of job or business. Here are a few habits that will help support you to continue to be successful later in your work life:
o Instill a love of learning with interesting books, audios, videos and educational materials
o Develop clarity regarding exactly what is expected of you by your teachers and coaches
o Setting priorities by completing homework before engaging in play with friends
o Setting goals and designing plans of action in alignment with those goals
o Develop sound organizational skills and study habits, set and complete commitments
• Relationships
To establish a good level of self-esteem, it is essential to develop rich and meaningful relationships within and outside of your family circle. We all have many acquaintances, but a true friendship is characterized by mutual respect, open communication, compassion and a willingness to create the space for the other person to be who they are rather than demanding them to change to meet someone’s expectations.
My blogs are geared towards a self-help guide for self-esteem elevation, but in this way the results are two-fold: when you can give up the right to manipulate, control or coerce another person to be who you want them to be and instead commit to being a genuine friend while listening to them with an open heart as if they are already magnificent, the other person will show up that way. When you can help another person feel that they are valued and worthy of being on this planet, you will receive it in return. And, that is just another nugget in your magic bag to help build on your self-esteem. When we do good, and for a moment take our attention off of ourselves and really want to help someone else, we feel good….which gives us more confidence in building our self-esteem.
Be choosy on who you invite to be a part of your tribe. I know that many times, friendships start out of circumstances (not necessarily out of choice). But, if you find that with one particular friendship, that friend is more negative than positive, ridicules your thoughts and ideas and mostly brings you down, instead of lifting you up, then you might want to reconsider keeping this friendship.
Realistically, every day is not always ‘rosy’ in the middle of a friendship. A good friend lends a listening ear for their friend to vent. But, in any relationship, we don’t want to dwell on problems going on in our lives for long; as I mentioned in previous blog posts, everything is energy and when our energy is mostly negative, the Universe just brings more bad, negative circumstances into our life. A true friendship offers compassion and empathy, and compromise is important too as we aren’t always in agreement on every subject…but mostly good vibes to lift each other up. When you have all these components in a relationship, you feel free to be your authentic self….and, isn’t that how everyone should feel?
• Personal and Spiritual Development
If you can take on a love of learning (in the daily process of your life), rather than only focusing on where you want to go or the end result of your desires, you will develop an attitude that each new day brings you exciting experiences, challenges and opportunities of personal development. Learn to relish the growth process and realize that every problem that you encounter holds seeds of growth within them. When you can welcome and actively seek out challenges that await your discovery, you will learn to enjoy the process of whatever task or activity that you are doing, rather than resenting the learning experience.
A little tip: I try to make a game out of any mundane task that I need to do. Besides looking for something that I can learn from it, I make it fun…in some way. It sure changes my mindset from dreading the task, thinking about it before I start it. And, I always do the tasks that I am not excited about first thing…..always! That way, I get it over with, and eliminates any negative thoughts about it, which might ‘steal’ my good vibration doing the things that I enjoy.
Accept responsibility for what shows up in your life. Everyone’s life experiences are different, and the root cause of what shows up in our lives is how the law of attraction works. Everything is energy or a vibration, and it’s simple: what we think about, we bring about. Many people think that what the law of attraction is is just thinking positive. The law of attraction is not only about a positive mindset. It is like a magnet….if we focus solely on positive aspects of things, similar positive aspects will show up in our life; if we focus solely (or more) on negative aspects of things, more negative things will happen to us.
What are you thinking about more??
It takes focus, but start to be more aware of which direction most of your thoughts are going. When you want something to happen, do you automatically think of why it cannot work or happen (or that you do not deserve it), or do you expect it to happen and ‘exude’ appreciation for it showing up for you?
When you accept responsibility for what shows up in your life, not as a burden or your fault, but as a place to see what might be missing to produce a desired result, you will be empowered by the concept. When something happens not to your liking, ask yourself “who am I being for this to happen to me?” Asking such a question can empower you to question why some relationships may not be working optimally, why you may not be achieving the results that you desire in school, or why any other aspect of your life may be proving to be problematic.
Embrace problems…
Instead of avoiding or running from problems, look for ways to have life “train” you to be happier, more effective in your relationships, and more successful by using the problems or challenges (“learning derails”) that show up as a tool to learn from and guide you to see what might be missing or how you could have dealt with the situation differently. Sometimes, if you can’t see a solution right away, brainstorming with a family member that you resonate with or a trusted friend can help you break through challenging situations.
Here are some things to help…
o Get into the habit of affirming the qualities that you wish to step into
o Practice the art of visioning (see previous blog post)
o Goal-setting and planning actions that align with your goals
o Learn to listen to your intuition –
There is a huge difference between intuition and your negative self-talker, which is based on fear, mistaken interpretations and unproductive thinking; usually your gut instinct (or intuition) is your very first thought, and based on who you truly are – your God-given authentic self, with no biases/labels/judgments that we pick up along our life journey through our environment and parents’/teachers’/others’ points of view.
The foundation of all spirituality is Love!
If the basis of your life is to act always from love, rather than fear or hate, you will grow up to be happy, loved and at peace.
There are many practices of religion. Whichever way resonates with you, it is important to develop a personal, meaningful relationship with God (or your Higher Power). There is a God-force within us all – knowing that we are all connected in this way will lead to an appreciation for the value of contribution and sharing your gifts with others.
When you realize this, you will see the wisdom in respecting the spiritual nature of all people. One cannot have a warm and loving relationship with God and feel hatred for people at the same time. Yes, we may get mad or hurt by the actions of others, but it is important to know that these actions are not the person, only their behavior, as every human being’s soul is born out of love; they have ‘lost’ their way in some way (usually from being raised in a dysfunctional family environment). It will serve you immensely if you can learn to develop empathy for others. This will not only help you to see how it is to live in their shoes, but you will not take things personally…..which really play a big part in building your self-esteem.
Having a solid spiritual foundation will go far towards supporting you to make sound decisions to do the right thing, avoid peer pressure (which also means being overly-concerned with what others think of you), and undesirable behaviors like doing drugs or participating in criminal activity…..which many times, stems from the repercussions of succumbing to peer pressure.
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